2 B R 0 2 B by Kurt Vonnegut

Everything was perfectly swell.

There were no prisons, no slums, no insane asylums, no cripples, no poverty, no wars.

All diseases were conquered. So was old age.

Death, barring accidents, was an adventure for volunteers.

The population of the United States was stabilized at forty-million souls.

One bright morning in the Chicago Lying-in Hospital, a man named Edward K. Wehling, Jr., waited for his wife to give birth. He was the only man waiting. Not many people were born a day any more.
 
Wehling was fifty-six, a mere stripling in a population whose average age was one hundred and twenty-nine.

X-rays had revealed that his wife was going to have triplets. The children would be his first.
Young Wehling was hunched in his chair, his head in his hand. He was so rumpled, so still and colorless as to be virtually invisible. His camouflage was perfect, since the waiting room had a disorderly and demoralized air, too. Chairs and ashtrays had been moved away from the walls. The floor was paved with spattered dropcloths.

The room was being redecorated. It was being redecorated as a memorial to a man who had volunteered to die.

A sardonic old man, about two hundred years old, sat on a stepladder, painting a mural he did not like. Back in the days when people aged visibly, his age would have been guessed at thirty-five or so. Aging had touched him that much before the cure for aging was found.

Introducing the Weekly Read

Here at The Dying Book Affair, we are all about a love of reading. A true, passionate affair with books, stories and all things literary. But not everyone has the same amount of time in their busy day-to-day adventures to pick up a book. But we will not let that stop the reading! So, every Wednesday will now be Short Story Wednesday and there will be a brand new #weeklyread available. 

Now your reading will not have to be a time-intensive commitment but rather can be a spur-of-the-moment pleasure. Each short story will be presented in its entirety and each Wednesday will bring a new story.

So get excited for next Wednesday and our first #weeklyread. And enjoy!

How To Know If You're Dead

There are a lot of ways to tell if you're dead; heart not beating, the bright white light and seeing family members who have passed on. Or if there was absolutely no laughing while reading Mary Roach’s Stiff. That’s one sure-fire way to tell. Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers uncovers the stories of the recently deceased and their fascinatingly gruesome history in a light-hearted way. But it is not for the faint of heart. The first line should prepare the reader for the rest of the journey: “The human head is of the same approximate size and weight as a roaster chicken.” Okay then.

The disgusting education continues from heads onto anatomy labs, the army, car crash tests and into the sticky subject of not-quite-dead cadavers. Each page has new tidbits and history, and with each fresh word the reader is learning without quite realizing it. And there is so much to learn. For instance, there are at least nine uses for a dead human that I bet no one has ever thought of before. Not only did Roach think of them, she investigated, illuminated and (dare I say) dissected each one.

The tone throughout this dissection is respectfully humorous, appropriately mirroring the attitude of the living who work with the dead. Roach handles the dead, and their keepers, with great care, making sure to never once cast a black shadow over this typically dark subject.

Reading Stiff is like traveling in a sidecar on Roach's journey; the reader experiences everything as she does, but once in a while she leans over to whisper something funny, slightly inappropriate and exactly what you were thinking. This book is written for the reader; unique photographs, footnotes at the foot of the page where they belong (unlike other books), and stories steeped in history.

The experience is more like a conversation with a friend than the one way dialogue of a novel. There is only one way this book will be read: voraciously.

Excerpt from Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers
     Something else is going on. Squirming grains of rice are crowded into the man's belly button. It's a rice grain mosh pit. But rice grains do not move. These cannot be grains of rice. They are not. They are young flies. Entomologists have a name for young flies, but it is an ugly name, an insult. Let's not use the word "maggot." Let's use a pretty word. Let's use "hacienda."
     Arpad explains that the flies lay their eggs on the body's points of entry: the eyes, the mouth, open wounds, genitalia. Unlike older, larger haciendas, the little ones can't eat through skin. I make the mistake of asking Arpad what the little haciendas are after.

Grand Prize & Sunday VNSA Booksale Raffle Winners!

We're supporting the VNSA by giving books away. We like to encourage this little reading habit you've developed and what better way than with free books?

From great deals to space to shop, today was all about relaxing and finding a new book to love (or two or three). There truly is no better way to spend time than with a group of cheery bibliophiles, is there? The day was a smashing success and every book purchased helped out the VNSA charities. Feels good doesn't it? And now to reward 11 do-gooders with another treasure to add to their collection. Below are Sunday's VNSA booksale raffle winners. Click here for how to claim your new love. After that, all that's left to do is enjoy!

Sunday VNSA booksale raffle winners:
* 2296                * 2329
* 1316                * 2293
* 2315                * 1286
* 2337                * 1337
* 1393                * 1330
* 1414

And now for the Grand Prize book, a personalized signed copy of Anne Rice's yet-to-be-released The Wolf Gift! Our winner is ticket number 519! Click here for how to get this great book delivered to your bookshelf.

And thank you for supporting the VNSA and reading. You're awesome.

Congrats To Our Saturday VNSA Raffle Winners!

We're supporting the VNSA by giving books away. We like to encourage this little reading habit you've developed and what better way than with free books?

It was a glorious day. There truly is no better way to spend time than with a group of cheery bibliophiles, is there? The day was a smashing success and every book purchased helped out the VNSA charities. Feels good doesn't it? And now to reward 11 do-gooders with another treasure to add to their collection. Below are Saturday's VNSA booksale raffle winners. Click here for how to claim your new love. After that, all that's left to do is enjoy!

Saturday VNSA booksale raffle winners:
  
       * 248                * 1127
       * 109                * 567
       * 95                  * 1097
       * 416                * 12
       * 1136              * 125
       * 382

Check back tomorrow when we raffle off the Grand Prize book, a personalized signed copy of Anne Rice's yet-to-be-released The Wolf Gift. And thank you for supporting the VNSA and reading. You're awesome.
Creative Commons License
This work by H.E. Saunders is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.